A common complaint, among developing writers, is unhappiness that they aren’t getting more “support” from their family and friends. Sometimes they aren’t willing to buy the newbie author’s book, other times they buy it but don’t read it, and sometimes they buy them and read them but aren’t enthusiastic enough fans (writing rave reviews and whatnot).
At the end of the day, it’s unreasonable for people making creative works to demand a specific reaction from their social network (or anyone). Anything friends and family do for us should be appreciated and, should they do nothing at all, we should accept that with equanimity.
Harry Potter is probably one of the best-selling books in recent history, having sold 120 million copies of the first book worldwide. If we use 8 billion as the current world population, this means only 1.5% of the world’s population has read the most popular book in the last few decades. If J.K. Rowling only gets one reader out of a hundred people, why should we expect our entire social group to be enthusiastic about our work?
Reading is an intensely personal experience. I find reading fiction that I don’t enjoy an almost painful experience. I don’t understand why authors would want to put someone they care about through an unpleasant experience, then demand they lie to us about how great it is.
Many romance authors make their long-suffering husbands serve as beta-readers. These husbands often lavish praise on the latest book their wives have written. To me, this is above and beyond what can reasonably be requested, even from a spouse. Few men choose to read romance, those that do to support the women they love are well into extra-credit territory.
The comedy movie, “You Hurt My Feelings” stars Julia Louis-Dreyfus (of Seinfeld fame) as an author who overhears her husband criticizing her second book. It’s very funny, but it also paints a dark picture about what can result when we go looking for trouble in our romantic relationships.
I have close family members who, as far as I’m aware, haven’t read a single word I’ve written. I also have in-laws who grab every book I write as soon as it’s released. I often warn people I’m close to that they won’t enjoy particular books I’ve written (when I think that they won’t).
ANYTHING friends and family do to “support” us as writers is something that we should be grateful for. Accepting a lack of interest (or limited interest), without reproach, is part of leading a creative life.
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